Feeling broken hearted and finding it difficult to write this post about the passing of my baby girl. A few Sundays ago I noticed Scout was having trouble with her right paw. I did not find anything wrong so I felt comfortable to leave to a hike. Little did I know that Scout’s condition would worsen. When I arrived back home she stood up and showed me her paw… then she collapsed and was having a hard time breathing. Feeling helpless and shocked… I rushed her to a pet hospital emergency. They found a mass surrounding her kidney and gave the options of either a high risk operation or letting her sleep. I guess we never know how ready we are to let go of our pets until the decision presents itself. I choose to try and save her…I was confused and not ready to let her go. She survived the operation however did not survive the post op recovery. Seeing her in so much pain I asked for them to let her sleep. My mom always took care of bringing our dogs to let them sleep so I was somewhat terrified of witnessing it. But I chose to hold Scout during the procedure so that she did not feel alone. Feeling her rest in my arms was in some way peaceful and settling that she went to a serene and beautiful place..where she is young again, healthy, and happy.. a place they call a rainbow bridge for doggies passing on. I was finally at peace with her predicament.
Scout was my only girl dog as we have had boy dogs through my childhood. Scout was such an adorable girl and being a small dog she was easy to bring around. The first 2 years when she was a puppy, I would carry her around in a pet shoulder bag. She would come with me everywhere. I received so many comments about ‘how cute she was sitting in my bag’. I think being with me all the time is why she developed separation anxiety so I decided to get her a baby brother. Along came Dino, who is probably a half brother given that he was from the same breeder. Dino was her baby. He adored her and he did everything she did. Basically she house trained him as he would make pee pee and poo in the same place, the wee wee pads or outside.
Scout was by my side for 14 1/2 years. She made me smile and laugh when she would just stare at me or would jump on me to play with her. She liked laying at the foot of the bed and watch television with me. She was known to love the animals on the television as she would jump up and bark at them as if they could hear and see her. She had a favorite small stuff animal lion we called ‘lion lion’. She carried it around and would chase it whenever I played with her. Scout, Dino and I often took road trips to Carmel. It was our favorite place since it is a doggie friendly community so I was able to freely bring them shopping and to the dog friendly restaurants. They loved the beach at Carmel and I would let them run loose. Her unconditional love, like most pets, was always comforting in times of sadness. I always looked forward to seeing her and Dino when I got home as they were always happy to see me. She showed so much love to me and Dino. In her later years she slowed down and was not as readily playful however she seemed to enjoy watching Dino play with me. She started to need more affection. She loved when I gave her a doggie massage. She seldom jumped at the doggies on television. She seemed to just sit and stare at me more and more.
I miss you so much Scout. Dino misses you too. You will always be in my heart and I will never forget the sweet memories of our time together. Love you baby girl.. I could just see you jumping, and playing at the rainbow bridge. Until we meet again…